I’ve done so much Bitburner programming in the past few days that my fingers are cramping and I have to pace myself now T_T I really want to keep going, too - I was working on something really exciting

me every few months:

“maybe I should learn how to self-host stuff”

*looks up software that can be self-hosted*

• why would someone want this?
• why would someone want this?
• why would someone want this?
• why would someone want this?
• …

audio porn for straight men: 6 minutes of “hehehe hi master~! you summoned me so that means I have to - like - fuck your cock with my huge titties~! hehehehe~! 💙”

audio porn for lesbians: 2 hours of the most fucked-up psychological horror you have ever heard in your life

Steam users should be required to pass a short test before they can tag something as “immersive sim”

one thing that I would really like to see get CWed more often is any content that’s designed to provoke outrage or fear about Current Events™, even if it’s not directly related to “politics” (however we define that term)

like for example I’ve seen a lot of un-CWed posts about AI that are designed to provoke outrage about AI-related things, and I guess people aren’t considering AI political (which is fair; words are made up) but it’s still content that has been designed to provoke outrage which is IMO one of the main reasons why it’s important to CW political posts in the first place - because a lot of people (myself included) want to use Fedi as a place to escape from having to feel outrage and fear all the time

see also: This Video Will Make You Angry by CGP Grey

it’s a video about how outrage and fear are tools that memes use to spread, and can sometimes lead to very unproductive communities whose only purpose is to grow outrage/fear without really accomplishing anything. I don’t think the part of Fedi that I see is doing that last part (being unproductive and wallowing in outrage) but I think this video is somewhat related to what I’m talking about and it’s also important viewing for anyone on the internet IMO

“how hard are you right now?”

❌ imprecise
❌ unscientific
❌ vague

“hold still while I measure you on the Mohs scale”

✅ an objective 10-point scale
✅ highly scientific; based on simple experiments
✅ materials science is sexy
✅ you get to scratch someone’s cock with a piece of calcite

In this post I am going to try and explain some aspects of how I conceptualize #kink.

For this to be effective, I want to also explain some terms I use, and how I use them. A shared dictionary is a fundamental piece of successful communication of nuance.

~~Intimacy is a form of closeness at a deep level. Like two onions touching each other, maybe in a box vs the unpeeled cores of two onions cuddling up together. Maybe not the best analogy. But it's better than imagining fitting both your eyeballs into the same socket (What is wrong with me?)~~

#Intimacy is a form of closeness. To get a better idea of what I mean, here's a post I wrote recently to clarify what I mean when I refer to intimacy.

Intimacy explained in terms of vulnerability: https://lgbtqia.space/@h3mmy/114721556022286295

Sensual is used to describe certain experiences. A quick trip to the pedantry corner says that technically all our experiences are sensual because we're using our senses. When I say sensual, I mean actively engaging the senses with intention. Really savoring the experience. Like standing atop a hill feeling the wind gently stroking your skin, observing how your skin reacts, and the different streaks of tingles and nociception. Really savoring the experience of it. Appreciating the subtle notes of whispers in the wind. Hints of wildflowers mixed with soil.

One can argue that there is a degree of intimacy involved in sensuality, and that makes sense. I'm loosing my guard to appreciate the breeze, I'm adjusting my hearing to attune to the breath of nature, leaving myself open and exposed to nature and trusting that the experience will be worthwhile. It's not sexual, it's not romantic, it's just sensual.

#Erotic is another term, literally based on a god of lust, passion, desire and mischief. The crux of this is desire, but a consuming sort. Like I'm dying of thirst in a desert, happening upon an oasis, stumbling in my frenzy to reach the water, passionately reuniting it with my body, savoring the echoes of sweet relief down to my bone. This is just an illustrative example. I want to make a point to distinguish erotic from the sexual and the sensual as they are all different things. Each can have different degrees of intimacy dynamics. Intimacy is independent, yet a fundamental aspect

My previous example for #sensual is actually a little erotic. I'm immersed in it to a degree of near spiritual fulfillment. The erotic is often sensual, but the sensual is not always erotic. The erotic is often profoundly intimate as well.

Okay, now that I've gone through some of the tricky terms, I am going to start illustrating some concepts around "non-sexual" kink. Thanks to @kasdeya for her really helpful line of questioning that aided me in figuring out what pieces might be good to address first.

Picking one snippet from https://cryptid.cafe/objects/68cbcc28-db9f-4601-a574-bd44358f45e5

> I think the main thing that I’m having trouble understanding is the concept of nonsexual kink. it sounds like this might be a kind of playful exploration of things like physical sensations (like pain) or of being {restrained or made helpless} for its own sake. so I’m guessing that there isn’t necessarily any sexual arousal involved in nonsexual kink. I would be interested to know if the presence of sexual arousal in a kink scene would make it count as sexual (rather than nonsexual) kink for you or if it’s only the presence of sexual activity that would put it into that category. and also (this may be too personal of a question) how you would feel knowing that a kink partner was sexually aroused during a scene with you. I guess I wonder if that might be uncomfortable to know, in the same way that it might be during a non-kink-related activity. I think that would help me understand where the borders are between sexual and nonsexual kink

@kasdeya is spot on with the playful exploration. Kink is a type of play. Humans love to play, it's one of the fundamental ways we learn, bond, and explore. If I'm an arbitrary rope bottom: Maybe I want to be tied up for the sensory experience, and maybe I want to be locked and restrained like the suffocating system we're trapped in, and once the bonds are undone, I can emerge with fewer restraints to my potential in the world. In that sense it takes on a deeper layer of vulnerability and trust. A ritual to help harmonize the mind, body, and rich inner world.

Impact, fire, electro, sensory, needle, knife, wax, latex, etc. These are all types of play. Sexual component not required. What if we just wanted to play some games? Bound hands holding a candle full to the brim. Is a light feather enough to cause a spillage? What about a wartenberg wheel? How about a game of chess? My moves will be executed by my voice controlled drone whose arms are tied to its chest like T-Rex arms. These scenes lack sexual components altogether, but I imagine people would still call it kink, right?

Now, sexual components can be added easily. Feathers can be run over erogenous zones, vibrators too. Who knows what kind of chipset is inserted in the drone? Maybe I left something in the debug port by mistake.

I hope that helps illustrate that there is a distinction between sexual and non-sexual kink. Let's try exploring some #boundaries.

You asked if the presence of sexual arousal changes the category. I would say it depends. If I'm enjoying a casual tabletop game in public with a friend or two, and they get sexually aroused, are we now playing a sexy board game? Arousal also disregards intention and desire which are also important elements. I think perspective also matters. It could be a sexy game of whatever we're playing for the person who is aroused and full of desire. And for clueless me, it's just a fun activity time with pals. If I am also aware of what's going on, then it could change what we label it.

For kink scenes, I try to establish some baseline boundaries. One of my default ones is that I won't do sexual play, but I might be open to renegotiating at a later point. This communicates that I do not have any sexual intention at the time, and I expect that the other parties will not engage me in any sexual play without talking about it first.

This helps segue into answering the next part of the question about what if the other party is sexually aroused. This by itself is not bothersome to me. Kink is intimate. If I'm binding someone in rope, I'm increasing their vulnerability and caretaking it throughout. I'm adjusting my touch based on their preferences and what makes sense to me from an artistic perspective. Soft touch, light touch, deep touch, and most people want more so I'll adjust my techniques to increase the touch while tying and untying. For some, I'll adjust the pull throughs to create little whips to add a zing for contrast. I'm tying things in and around sensitive parts, carefully, mindfully, tenderly, but not sexually, and not even erotically unless we've discussed it beforehand.

Given this intimate context, the closeness, and sensual aspects, it can be arousing for a lot of people. Just like if they're getting a massage. Relaxing into touch and sensation while vulnerable. They're not being weird about it, they're not being creepy, they're maintaining the negotiated boundaries and not dragging any sexual intent or context into the scene. I've had some rope bottoms tell me when an area is _too_ arousing or if they interpret touch in a certain area as sexual, and I highly appreciate that so I can avoid those triggers. Like the inner thigh. For some people it's sexual, for some people it's sensual. If it's sexual for someone and I need to get rope through there I can do it without actually touching with any part of my body, or I can have the bottom do it if practical. Respecting that sexual boundary. This sort of dynamic and communication applies across all types of kink scenes, I'm just using rope as my example because it's usually fresh in my brain.

So if something like a humiliation scene with impact and wax is sexual for someone, this should be part of the negotiations. I don't do sexual scenes by default and this filters out play partners for whom kink is always sexual because if there's no play we can do that is non-sexual then we clearly aren't compatible. Because I'm at events a lot, people who are curious can watch, and they'll better be able to see the dynamic. Sometimes this alone helps them reframe the elements involved and they can interpret kink in separate sexual and non-sexual dimensions. I have a couple of play partners for which this was the route, and they like that the scenes with me helped them broaden their perspective on kink knowing that it doesn't have to be centered around sexual charge.

I'm getting close to the character limit now, which maybe makes this my longest post. Hopefully people are able to read it and engage in some discussions that will help me figure out how to structure my next post.

Please note that this conceptualization is merely one perspective and I'm certainly not an authority of any kind (unless that's what we negotiated)

#Discussion #Thoughts #BDSM #AsexualKink

“it’s just as easy to learn to use Linux as it is to learn to use Windows”

are you fucking serious. I absolutely hate when FOSS people try to sell FOSS stuff as “easy to learn” like this; it drives me absolutely crazy. and then when anyone has trouble with Linux it’s their fault for “expecting it to be like Windows” or “using it wrong” or “not reading the docs” (as they link to a webpage that is incomprehensible to someone who isn’t steeped in Linux lore) or whatever other excuse they can come up with to blame the user instead of the arcane system they’re trying to work with

I’m willing to bet that this exact attitude is a big part of why so many people bounce off of Linux. Linux people need to be honest and say “listen, you’re going to need to learn a series of ugly hacks and weird esoteric technical stuff to get your system running, and updates might randomly break things that you’re relying on which will require you to learn even more weird esoteric technical stuff in order to fix it. it’s going to feel like you’re working on a 1970’s Unix mainframe a lot of the time. and that’s assuming that your hardware is even supported by the OS. but at least it isn’t Windows with its spyware and adware and slow enshittification”

now people know what they’re getting into and can make an informed decision instead of being led to believe that it’s easy, and then blamed when it turns out it isn’t

Good news is I have my laptop "working" on FreeBSD. Bad news is I remember why I swapped to Debian in the first place.

Doesn't help that I'm trying to use Wayland for the first time too, and the handbook page instructions for sway do not work. Apparently you need to enable dbus, and install fonts, in order to get sway working, beyond thr stuff they tell you about. A possibly launch in a different way than in the handbook?

Threw the kitchen sink at it, and while I still don't have a launcher menu (lol), I can at least launch the terminal and start wayland programs from there, and you know what, that's enough. I've read more than enough docs over the last few days, I can read more later when I have enough energy.

So at least now it is "operational", and I should be able to work on my projects again. (Still need to get a browser, and I forgot about suspend/resume+power being a thing, but those can wait.)

man I just slept for 12 hours and I’m even more sleep-deprived than ever! I fucking love having my consciousness trapped inside of living human meat, with all of the horrifying things that that entails! time for another wonderful day of barely functioning