@salad_bar_breath i can’t help but feel that people feel entitled to women / femme individuals. lesbians and sapphic relationships seem like an affront because it’s a relationship where a (cis) man isn’t being centered or served. i have had my boundaries pushed and violated by cis men who feel entitled to me despite knowing that i’m not attracted to them. i am not suggesting this doesn’t happen to men, but it sure does seem to happen to women/femme people very often by comparison

@salad_bar_breath i really don’t like this explanation for polyamory either. it feels to center a transactional way of thinking for relationships that makes me uncomfortable. i could be wrong, but it framing partners by their utility feels like it has two gross implications:

• the goal is for partners to fulfill my needs and if my current relationships aren’t effectively fixing me, then i need more
• partners are judged by their utility to me

i really dont like the idea of using relationships to “fix” people; it doesn’t work and it’s extremely gross to the person who is being used to fix them. some people can offer a lot of things: financial and emotional stability, excitement, etc but those things can and will change (and basing a relationship on what they offer you is selfish and horrible – when is it your turn to offer something?)

basing relationships and partners on utility also feels hierarchical to me, as if partners which offer more utility are worth more love or are more important. just because a partner can offer me housing and financial stability doesnt mean i’ll love them more than one that has no money to offer. sure it’s nice to have that stability, but what if they lose it? im not going to stop loving them

@rowan iterawrable

@rowan that's idorable

trying to type “Iterable”

itertable. iteraratable. iterarable!

@vivi not a yinglet, but

how it started: im going to make a game engine!

how its going: which implementation of hamming weight is appropriate for this bitset class

@suricrasia imagining this being said like Skinner

@vivi honestly, to back this up, when i moderated [redacted server], there were two admins + me. the first admin had a moderation style very much like me and the community was good, welcoming, and friendly. we tolerated zero bullshit from players. we were very very protective of everyone who invested their time, and there was definitely a clear sense of trust between long-time players and the mods. new players were always on probation until we learned who you are

when that admin passed it on to his friend (the aforementioned second admin), that one was much more the “lets listen to what they have to say” type people. a lot of bad actors made it into the server and it was much harder to get rid of them. the community quickly felt like every other minecraft server – chat didn’t flood constantly from different conversations, new players weren’t welcomed, and everything was met with passive or even open hostility.

so yeah fuck that ill be the terrible mod

@vivi “very opinionated and on a hair trigger” has and always will be my moderation style

Raffle prize for Flufshy

#furryart

@november i think thats a good perspective. most 30 and 40 year olds i know arent grown up or responsible either and i wouldnt take their freedom away

@rowan everyone is like “why are kids so isolated and unhappy” maybe it’s because they aren’t allowed to go outside