A difficult autobiographical article i’ve been working on for a long while: Emotions to perform after child rape

After child rape, you learn to present your victimization as a coherent narrative that matches the audience’s expectations: this is a sad ride showing you where it can lead.

I hope you will read it–if you can handle it. Please heed the warnings, this is not an easy read.

This is very personal, but don’t hesitate to repost or reply. It’s meant to be read.

https://aria.dog/barks/emotions-to-perform/

i’ve seen some particularly egregious examples in the past being used by people who had no idea, and it shows exactly how insidious a lot of this shit is. the chans have an obsession with terry a davis and copped a lot of his very racist language and then deleted the obviously offensive parts so that it could be adopted into common language. i still see it being used by people who, i guarantee, have no idea who TAD is

i think it has to do with how memeified right wing stuff is, but after personal experience with that, it’s completely On Fucking Purpose and often serves their goal. i’ve been shouted down in the past for “we dont give fascists <whatever im complaining about>” but honestly, if pepe or whatever the fuck else is so important to you, yeah, im letting you go.

it’s always a red or yellow flag for me when someone’s verbiage is chan or far-right adjacent. i hate how readily conservative slogans and right wing brainrot become assimilated into the greater vernacular. usually it’s a yellow flag to me because i often see left wing messaging conveyed with subverted right wing slogans, but i still really don’t like it. the amount of “Make X Y Again” posts or whatever else frustrates me

like it went from “i might be aroace” to “can anyone spare one (1) drilling me into a wall please”

a couple weeks ago: yeah i guess ill try prog but i doubt itll do shit

4am: hmm i could sleep or get some work done or i could be pinned underneath someone and used for the next few hours