@vyr
maybe the one single thing that I find most difficult to convey for non-ADHD people is that, for non-ADHD people, reminder memory (the kind of memory that goes off like an alarm, "ah yes I have to buy gloves before my trip") is directly correlated to emotional importance. the more you care about something, the more likely you are to remember it.

with ADHD there's no relation. you can care about something more than anything in life, and just flat out blank about it. and then remember to fold your laundry but not that the deadline for the 2000€ tax return was tomorrow, or whatever.

I once forgot that I had a child that I was supposed to pick after school. I picked them after school every day. I wasn't especially busy or anything, I wasn't distracted or concentrated, it wasn't any sort of special day. I just flat out forgot that I am a mom. like a hole where that awareness should've been. I obviously care more than anything about my children, getting that phone call and realising that my kid was left out all alone as all of their friends were picked up one by one broke my fucking heart, but this has no bearing whatsoever in how likely I am to remember to do something.

non-ADHD people will understand this when I explain it, in abstract. but then when I forget something they care about and they think I should care about, they'll take it as evidence that I don't care about it enough. if I did I would have remembered, they feel. this hurts because it's like you're not really being seen, some other imaginary person is being painted in place of you. a distance is created, a gap.

@salad_bar_breath yes you very much are!! 💜

the creator of that “a computer can never be spiteful or horny therefore a computer must never make art” image has clearly never met any of the robotgirls that i know