so I got a Lovense Gush today! which is a bluetooth-controlled vibrator, basically. and I’ve been trying to make it controllable through the internet without using the Lovense app (which will almost definitely sell my sex toy data and any other data they can get their hands on)

so I found a well-liked GitHub FOSS project and git cloned it. but I got an arcane NPM error when I tried to install the dependencies because of course I did: it’s fucking Node and it’s fucking server software. but I saw a bunch of Docker files and realized that I was probably supposed to use it through Docker (there were no instructions so I was just kinda guessing)

so I checked and sure enough, there was a Docker image for it with 1.2k downloads

so I:

• downloaded and installed Docker™ Desktop© (which is a 2.7 GB Electron app)
• created a Docker™ Personal-Use® Account©
• agreed to their terms of service
• agreed to their privacy policy
• agreed that they could sequence my DNA, copyright my face, and break into my house to install surveillance cameras
• verified my email
• opted out of spam emails
• rebooted my computer
• got a WSL error
• reconfigured WSL
• rebooted my computer
• waited 10 minutes for the stupid Docker image to download and then idempotize its quaternions or whatever the fuck Docker does

and then… it crashed. it just fucking crashed because of a dependency error inside of the container. I hate Docker so much

@kasdeya oh oof, that sucks

aside though: what a CW, that's one to remember