how does one find neurodivergent trans folks in their local area? especially the kind that would be accepting of identity stuff like otherkin or dolls or bots

@kasdeya I wish I knew!

@kasdeya for I, this was through a local hackspace

@kasdeya I use dating apps but that only really worked when I lived in more densely populated areas. Finding a local pride org and attending their events might help, or if you can find a local ttrpg place that might be a good spot too. good luck o7

@kasdeya scream in a random place "HEY, CAN ANYONE HELP ME INSTALL LINUX ON MY COMPUTER?" and you might get some in the wild

@ryker_rf5 thank you! I’ve been thinking about getting to know someone online for a while before meeting them in person, because I am Extremely Shy and that’s just what I need lol

if you don’t mind could you recommend any specific dating apps? a lot of them seem like they’re just for hookups and that’s kinda offputting to me tbh

@kasdeya so on pretty much any dating app, even hinge which is supposed to be for long term stuff, you’re probably going to get liked by at least one couple that wants a third. you can block and ignore these people, and you have my full permission to dm me and complain about it because it is an annoying fact about being fem-presenting on a dating app!! I still get them even since I’ve updated my gender to trans guy. anyway, I’ve had the most success by putting in my profile specifically that I’m looking for friends, I already have partners, etc. and out of the ones I’ve tried, Taimi and Her seem to have the highest percentage of trans people. I’ve also found a lot of cool trans people on Hinge but you’ll have to swipe through far more cis people for that. honestly probably user error but I couldn’t really get into bumble or tinder lmao. be careful on Taimi and Her as you can’t fully select who you’re shown to (I’ve been liked by middle aged cis men on Taimi, and I’ve always had my preferences filtered to Not show me middle aged men) and if you meet up with anyone be safe about it. let me know if you want my list of advice of how to meet up with someone from a dating app safely!

@ryker_rf5 thank you for all of this info - this is all great to know 💙

do you know if people on these sites tend to get upset or manipulative/creepy about people looking for friends on them? I’m kinda worried about that because they are all dating sites and I’m definitely not looking for more partners right now. I had some bad experiences on Fetlife with people pretending that they were just being friendly but secretly they only wanted lewd things from me

also if it’s not too much trouble I would love to read your advice on how to meet up safely. that’s something that I’m relatively new at tbh

@kasdeya I’ve never had a bad experience with someone getting overtly upset at me for looking for friends on a dating site but I would definitely put it in your profile that you are polysaturated, purely looking for new friends, and will ignore flirting. definitely be on the lookout for people trying to manipulate you into a relationship just like in general anywhere but I’ve never been in a position on a dating app where I felt unsafe saying no to someone. in terms of safety, a lot of dating apps will have “verification” where you submit a selfie and they verify that the pictures in your profile actually look like you. in addition to that, be wary if someone tries to meet up immediately. only meet in public places for the first couple of times. my favorites are quick service food places or public plazas. when I lived in Orlando FL, I used to meet people at disney springs and universal citywalk. Places like that if possible. share your location with someone you trust if possible. meeting during the day is best as well, and if you have some kind of self defense thing that you carry (pepper spray or something like that) make sure to bring it just in case. most importantly, if you have a bad feeling about someone, don’t ignore it. also if you say no to something and they get pushy or otherwise try to make you uncomfortable, block and move on. don’t take the chat off the dating app too quickly, try to wait at least a day and even then don’t give out a phone number until you meet irl if possible (theoretically they can find a lot of personal info if they know your phone number). I personally prefer to add new people on discord but also discord has the downside of online statuses so people might expect you to text them back while you’re “online” so be careful of that. I will let you know if I think of anything else lmao but hopefully that list is a good amount to consider for now