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can someone please blow up the sun or eclipse it or something so I can take walks at a reasonable time during the day instead of waiting until like 10pm? the alternative is I have to coat my skin in sunscreen and feel it on me the entire time *shudders*

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whoever invented daytime needs to fuck off. the plants can starve; I’ll learn to love mushrooms just get that searing death ball the fuck out of my face

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you know what? I should live underground, in that massive cave network populated by the humanoids that cause all those disappearances in the US. I bet they know how to make tasty mushroom-food

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spooky story from 4chan
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for (some) context

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Potentially unwanted/unhelpful suggestion, especially if heat is also a factor
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@kasdeya As a creature with similar desires to not be either incinerated or spend 20 hours coating muirselves in anti-incineration lather,, may wei perhaps unhelpfully suggest: The humble parasol [regular umbrella also works and is what wei did] This does have downside of continuous re-angleing to make sure all exposed skin is blocked from the death lazer, and also does not work well in high winds. [Though does work better than hats in high winds due to being held] flan_umbrella

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re: Potentially unwanted/unhelpful suggestion, especially if heat is also a factor
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@CrystalCluster thank you for the idea! I’ve been meaning to get an umbrella anyway in case it starts raining on one of my walks (which thankfully hasn’t happened yet). I might look for one that has UV protection or reflects sunlight or something like that

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re: Potentially unwanted/unhelpful suggestion, especially if heat is also a factor
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@kasdeya hehehe that is also a benefit umbrellas have to sunscreen, rain protection! neofox3c

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@kasdeya nope nope nope nope nopE NOPE NOPE

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