Kiki’s Delivery service is a really depressing, stressful movie if you’ve lived the life that I have

like, this 13-year-old girl has to find a way to survive under capitalism. she doesn’t have enough money for food. the only relationships she has to the people around her are transactional because nothing is free in this city. is she going to starve? I guess that depends on if she can start a successful business completely on her own without succumbing to burnout, while a lot of her customers are expecting way too much of her and she has to say yes anyway

and then the movie abruptly ends without showing that she’s going to be okay

don’t @ me with the “correct” interpretation because I’ve already had it explained to me. I just wish that they’d made it clear. also don’t @ me with “I think they made it plenty clear and I don’t know how you didn’t see it” because I’ve heard that all my life and I’m sick of it

I’m starting to think that maybe I should just avoid all storytelling for now until something changes about my mental health, because if I can’t handle Kiki’s Delivery Service then I don’t even know what I can

@kasdeya Some of the "best" movies are considered that because of the emotional impact. It doesn't sound like this was a great movie for you, and I can totally see what you mean by the themes and how that would add on to the difficulty for you. The capitalistic "well fuck you, you have to work" is one of the biggest issues of our current time, and I know something that is affecting you a lot personally.

When I am considering what to watch, one thing I have started thinking about is what is the message the creators are trying to send, and what is the emotional journey they want the viewer to go on. It helps to know I'm signing up for an emotional journey, and it kinda helps me work on my own emotional reactions to things. But I still mostly stay away from the really heavy stuff haha. One of my favourites is the sports anime Haikyu!!, in part because the emotional hits are mostly around victory/defeat, teamwork/competition, dreams/regrets. So while those emotional hits are still there, they are "safe" ones for me, and I'm able to enjoy it. And then some shows are not even really trying to make you feel, and while they generally are not as deep, they can be fun. Anyways, those are some things I think about and that help me, hope you can enjoy!

@Shivaekul I’ve been thinking about what you said here - about how most stories are an emotional journey. I think that might be the main thing that causes problems for me with storytelling: the aspect of having my emotions changed by fiction. especially when I can’t predict what I’m going to feel (and often even reading a plot summary isn’t enough, because it’s about how the story is told and not what happens in it)

I keep saying that I’m going to give up on storytelling, and then I’m drawn back in by something or other. I think I really should just stop engaging with it for now, and wait for my mental health and circumstances to improve before trying again. I don’t know what I need in order to be able to handle it, or what would help

anyway thank you for this message! it definitely gave me a lot to think about and I think I learned a little more about myself in the process