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Edited 16 days ago
making fun of FFXIV quest writing
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WoW quests be like:

I’m hungry. bring me 12 boar asses so I can eat them

FFXIV quests be like:

‘Aye ‘tis with me brother we came ‘ixt these lands ‘fore any’a th’ wandren’s’a late! We’d prowled ‘n’ pick’d th’fields a-twary a-twee! An afore long we’d picked an’ a-plucked all’a’tha’ fields a-clean a-tha crop if’n ya’ catch m’ meanins.

[6 dialog boxes later]

An’ if’n’ ‘afore long we’d been realizin’ we’d be a-need’n’ 3 a’tha’ boar arses intatha westwardly ‘ills! Bet ‘afore ye be a-goin’ off’n a-killen’ fer me, ye’d best be talkin’ t’the locals ‘bout them there boars! An’ then ye’d bes’ be talken’ te yer friends ‘bout them boars! An’ then ye’d bes’ be returnen’ t’the wakin’ sands t’speak wi’t’cher companions ‘bout them boars!

[3 dialog boxes later]

An’ then there’s’ll oughtta be ‘bout a 3-minute cutscene ‘bout them boars… sure ‘ope I ‘membered the roight boars fer yew t’kill er yer gonna ‘ave t’dew ‘tall ‘gain, ye will! Now off’n ye’go!

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