one day god lord jesus was bored

so he made humans to suck his cock for eternity. and they all took turns sucking him. and if they didn’t he put them in his torture basement. and everything was good and holy

except god lord jesus decided that everyone was bad, and he could never forgive them. so he torture-murdered himself as a burnt offering to himself so he could forgive them

and now we can all suck his cock forever or else we go in the torture basement because of how much he loves us amen

@kasdeya yeah, coming out of a care-free childhood in a loving, caring conservative christian family just to find oneself suffering from complex trauma, that about sums up the torture basement based on my own experience. hallelujah praise the cult!