this might just be an American thing but for some reason supermarket muffins are enormous and also greasy and soggy on the top. like you can actually see this greasy sheen and pieces of them often stick to the top of the plastic container they’re in

and like it doesn’t make them taste better? it makes them taste worse because they’re greasy and soggy. and it’s weird because like wouldn’t you have to go out of your way to make muffins greasy and soggy? I don’t understand

a whole lot of grocery store baked goods confuse me because if I were baking them at home I wouldn’t even know how to make them gross in the specific ways that grocery store baked goods are gross

like those pale white cookies with a thick lardy frosting paste on top and I’m pretty sure the cookies themselves were never actually baked, they were just molded into the rough shape of a cookie and left to dry

or like, how do they manage to make bread with the texture of rubber? it’s actually impressive how overly chewy their bread is and I don’t know how that’s even possible, unless they’re adding rice flour or something

@kasdeya i agree on most of this (especially the muffins) but oh my lord are those cookies satisfying to eat

@liese hahaha that is very fair. I don’t like them but it’s totally valid to find them tasty, and I think I could see why they could be seen that way too

@kasdeya

but... I like the weird greasy muffins.... :(

@pharmafemboy that’s fair! I don’t see the appeal personally but I’m ngl I’d rather like the muffins than not because I think it’s better to like something than to not like it. so I’m glad that you do!