since ICE is just deporting everyone without due process, I should put on a thick accent around them and be like

“oh please not deporting me to socialist republic of #Finland! perkele saatana! we have nothing there! only ice and sisu and communist oppressions that give healthcare like bread line. we have for eatings only näkkileipä and vihta to gnaw on. please not returnings there away from my beloved US of A!”

and then I request asylum when I get there and never have to care about America again