my new programming language has no variables. because this language is incapable of storing any state information in any form, it easily fixes several of the most pernicious problems in computer science:

• corrupted state is now impossible

• there is no need for semaphores when multithreading

• the problem of cache invalidation is solved because it’s no longer possible to cache anything

• garbage collection is trivial: if you see data, garbage collect it

• there is no need to distinguish between types of variables like “global” or “constant” and there isn’t even a need for complex concepts like namespaces or scoping

• other languages have complex, confusing type systems - but my language sidesteps this problem by having no variables to store those types in!

• entire classes of control structures are no longer needed. for example in this language a while loop’s condition must always evaluate to either true or false (after all, it can’t rely on any state information from elsewhere in the code) so it has been replaced with the forever loop - an inescapable infinite loop - which is obviously much cleaner and more elegant

• code in this language is extremely easy to reason about because every line of code stands alone - disconnected from any context around it

this approach might be unfamiliar and even mind-boggling to users of less enlightened languages, but once you understand the genius of its design you will realize how objectively superior it is and how wrong you have been for trying to use any other kind of language

and this is how I feel when I see people acting smug about functional programming

@kasdeya 💯 I’m apparently not ready for the zen of coding

@kasdeya point-free combinator calculi are kinda neat tbf