me: I think I want to try Witcher 3. I’ve heard it’s the best in the series and I love the idea of morally ambiguous monsters

them: shouldn’t you start with the first Witcher game so you can understand the story?

me, who was planning to skip as much story as possible because it would be actively harmful to my mental health, and who doesn’t like the implication that these games’ only value is as a vehicle for delivering story: you know what? I no longer want to play any Witcher games, out of spite