all foxes in real life are gay. if you think you’ve seen a straight fox couple you’re wrong because at least one of them was trans. some foxes can be bi or pan but they still instinctively maximize the queerness of their pairings whenever possible

foxes have a deep, instinctive understanding of gender and sexuality so that they can be the gayest animals possible. some foxes are genderfluid and they will form polyamorous relationships so that they can always be with their gayest partner at the time relative to their current gender

the fox’s natural prey is the reactionary politician. foxes infect them with queer submissive urges and then feast on their inner turmoil for their entire lives. when they die, they become new foxes and the cycle continues. no reactionary can resist the fox’s gay pull forever

foxes live for 3000 years and their sensitive noses can detect transphobia up to 200 kilometers away. all foxes are communists and they make large underground dens with string lights and plushies of other foxes and fluffy comfy furniture for cuddling. a fox can cuddle for up to 73 hours per day

all foxes worship Satan and love her dearly. if a fox is separated from their gay partner(s) they will yearn so hard that they tear a hole in space-time and teleport directly to their partner, who they smother with affection in a reunion that can last up to 13 months

foxes reproduce asexually but that didn’t stop them from inventing the concept of frotting. if you wear something cute and gay while programming a fox might bless you with their wisdom, or possibly with a deep animalistic urge to violate several Christian doctrines. sometimes foxes take human form in order to infect the internet with gay software, like NixOS and Megurine Luka

@kasdeya

as a fox, I can confirm, this is all true!

@kasdeya is that why the conservative TV channel is called Fox News

they've been trying to warn each other about foxes this whole time

...that started out as a joke...